Just Sad

I know I wouldn't be sad if I'd be the one to leave the country for a work (or an adventure or an opportunity or school) abroad.

On Sunday, Mon is set to fly to Vietnam. A new work in a new place. I should be happy, but I am sad. Well, I'm also happy for him.

He got a call last week telling him that he'd be going first week of February. Two weeks of notice. He accepted this job last December, but there was not definite date yet then. So it still feels like a rush. In a few days, I won't be able to call him via Globe's P20 for 20 minutes anymore. In a few days, we'd be relying more on Internet chats. And I won't be able to hug him as easily.

Hay, just sad. I'm wondering how it would be like. (It's not easy pala to write this down... to write how I feel about him working so far away from me.)

At least one thing's making me feel good: Vietnam is very near this beloved country and definitely easier to go to than if he went to Middle East. I should now be saving for my second foreign trip hehe (but I don't have a job. bah.)

Four Super Short Stories: A Written Snapshot of a Lot Going On

My body is telling me to sleep. It's already past one in the morning! But my mind's keeping me wide awake. I can't even think clearly about the various things that's running in my mind.

Item # 1: Mon will be leaving for Vietnam on Sunday for work - a year away from me, from each other

He was informed about it on January 19. Oh, they said he would be leaving on the third of February, but informed him a week later that he might be leaving earlier instead. Ah! It's going to be a really new year with new adventure - no Mon by my side. Thanks to the internet, and thankfully it's only Vietnam, I hope it wouldn't feel like so far away from each other.

Item # 2: I applied for the graduate program in UPSE

Last week, I finally submitted my application for the MA program in Econ. Finally! After a "long preparation." I asked three of my mentors to recommend me to the program, which took me about three days to complete excluding following them up about submitting the form. I wrote my statement of purpose for desiring to study economics, which took me (let me guess) about a week in all to finish excluding idle time in between "actively writing days" (please not that I count a couple of hours work in a day as one single day). I hope I can make it!

Item # 3: I have a part time work as a research assistant for an ICT project

Cyber campaign. Political blogging. 2010 presidential election. That's what the project is about. I wouldn't miss the Senate after all! Hehe. I'm thankful that I have this work. However, with the two items above occupying my mind the past week (and still this week for item # 1), I haven't really given much time for this worthwhile research work. I'll catch up tomorrow. I already started earlier tonight. Yipee! Though I didn't expect it is tiring just surfing the internet about presidentiables' websites, blogs, social networking sites, latest polls, etc. And I don't even know what exactly I should do aside from document those things. Which reminds me that it is necessary to have regular internet access.

Item # 4: If I couldn't find additional sources of income, I would have to ask for money from my Daddy starting September - or even June if I should be more practical

I have to admit it. Oh, life. I have to work. Haha! Though I'm actually thinking of using the "business" side of what I learned in college. I took a major in business economics, by the way. ;)

Happy Chinese New Year! (Whew, new year uli haha!)

a lot

For the past week, a lot has happened. Too much for my disorganized life. I have to keep things in order now. I'll write about it next time. Good luck! :)

Stress, Work

Thinking about work stresses me out. I don't even have a work to think about!

My focus right now is to finally write my statement of purpose for applying for the graduate program in UPSE. However, as my mind cannot keep still and random thoughts continuously bug me, the idea of work sure does come around. I think about what I should do, what I should work on, what I would do if I should work again, what it would feel to work again, what I would experience if I work on a project, what it entails if I work while I study, etc., etc.

Now what? I need to de-stress. Inhale... Exhale... (With eyes closed.) Inhale... Exhale... (Repeat.)

Clear. Now it's lunch time. I should be stressed about now having my essay yet! I'll work on it now. Or later after lunch. Ta da!

An After Shock of "The Alchemist"

"When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it." - The Alchemist, Paolo Coehlo

What do I really want? Am I ask myselft that question again?

Am I losing sight of what I want in my life, what I want to do and what I want to achieve? Uh, no, I don't think so, for I am still on the part stage of self-discovery (so I want to think.)

Before my contract ended last December, I knew what I wanted to do. I was to take my masters this June, have a little vacation, volunteer perhaps, and eventually teach. I was not and still am not sure if I really wanted to teach college, for I have a soft spot for high school students, but a masters degree in economics, I believe, would be beneficial. (Oh how generic.)

Somehow, in my little vacation here at home, I got distracted. Two reasons for the nuisance: (1) I still think of the practical side of my decision - where do I get money for surviving the city and save for the future; and (2) I find myself in a dreary routine of a lazy life without the superficial worries.

For the first distraction: the practical side or the worldly matters

I took the courage to embark on this journey without a secure job. I am still not looking for a new one. I still have savings enough for six months if I stick to my strict budget (cut that to three months if I am get back to my previous spending habit.)

After that, however, I ask myself, "what?" What do I do?

"When you want something, all the universe conspires to help you achieve it."

Maybe indeed I am losing sight of what I want.

Previously, I thought of this unsecured position to try out sourcing some income from a sideline, a racket or a little kiddie (start-up, try-out) business. In other words, try to be an entreprenuer (if I am worthy to be called that.)

I have always wanted to have my own business to handle. However, I was hesitant to start - I was afraid, I felt I needed somebody else with me to push me to start, also felt that I did not have enough capital to do so. They can all be overcome easily, I say. Except for the "afraid part." Ha! Now I'm still wary to do something with this desire.

For the second distraction: I am a bum

This is the more serious one.

I knew that one or two weeks (after the holidays) of being bum is enough. I am right. Now on the second week, I am being used to the carefree days of being here - not needing to worry about food, about cleaning the house and about other chores. I am now lazy to do a thing (except check my e-mail and other Internet accounts and read.)

Like being in an office, the familiarity of my surroundings hinders me from being creative. I cannot think and I cannot do things I wanted to do (like write my statement of purpose for applying for the graduate program in UPSE.)

The Alchemist

As if an "omen" to pursue what I have to do, I bought "The Alchemist," which is a "fable about following your dream." I finished the book earlier. Inspired, I am now writing here, as if to clear my thoughts on what to do next, or to hear what my heart is saying.

I cannot clearly say what my heart is saying at this moment, but at least I am rejuvinated once again to live. I don't want to be a bum anymore. I equate it to throwing away a chance to live and enjoy my life. Now that's my resolution. Oh help me!

What do I really want?

For now they are:

• MA: Take my masters, finish it and of course learn from it! Oh, first I need to complete and send my application.
• Teach: while I may need a masters degree to do that, maybe a little experience would do good?
• Volunteer: I don't know how to proceed with this; I just believe it will help me grow
• Raket: At least one step!
• Travel: My favorite ;)

Cheers!

A Few Stories

The Tequila Shots

Last night, I had at most ten shots of tequila. It was Auntie Precy's birthday, and with my aunts drunk some drink to celebrate (after a delicious dinner.) Oh life!

The Jueteng in Castillejos

During last night's gathering, I learned that jueteng, or whatever it is called, is legal in this little town. The municipality benefits from the proceeds of that controversial game.

Twenty Years After

I spent the whole day yesterday reading Twenty Years After. I finally finished it! :) Now I'm reading The Alchemist, in a slower pace than Dumas' adventure novel.

Project: De-clutter Room

From 2:00 in the afternoon to about 4:30, I cleaned a small part of my room. Ha! A couple more areas to de-clutter.

Statement of Purpose

I intended to start writing my statement of purpose last Thursday. Two days after, I still haven't written even the first sentence. Good luck!

What's next? Live a life! ;)

A Chronicle of the Trip to Olongapo City

Wednesday, January 7, 2008

• As I was driving on our way to Olongapo (with little sisters and two adults), I got a text from a boss in my previous work asking me if he could call to discuss some short term assignment. I replied I was driving, so if he could please call after 30 minutes. I didn't get a call. I still haven't got the guts and clarity of mind to call or text him about it.
  

• I first went to a bank to withdraw the money I budgeted to spend for the month of January, then deposited the reservation fee for the Mt. Pulag climb to my friend's account who advanced my payment to another account in another bank that doesn't have a branch anywhere near here.
  

• Afterward, we went to National Bookstore to buy some supplies I thought I would be needing in this adventure. I spent close to PhP500 inclusive of the book, "The Alchemist." Oh I recall, I spent another PhP500 earlier for the gas.
  

• We dropped by Reyes Haircutters where my tita bought something, then proceeded home.

• In Subic, we stopped by the newly-opened Chowking to buy food for me and my little sisters. Another PhP262 (or was that PhP272?) spent.
  

• As we waited for the order in the pseudo-fastfood, pseudo-Chinese restaurant, I searched for a 300 Globe prepaid card that I badly needed. No prepaid cards in the first two stores I went. Thinking that a Globe prepaid card is scarce in that area, I walked a few more meters away from the resto to buy that good in 7-11 (also new in the area.) Alas! They did not have a card worth PhP300. So I settled for the 500 load.
  

• Just yesterday, I spent close to PhP1800 for various items, plus another PhP1500 for my February escapade. It made me think that I did not budget enough for the month. Time to get kuripot again!

The LBC Story

I have narrated just this morning how I went to Subic to have an important package sent to my roommate immediately.

I troubled myself to get to the next town thinking it's where I could find the nearest LBC branch.

Oh, I didn't know, we have an LBC branch right here in Castillejos.

I have a lot to learn about my hometown! What's next, a Jollibee? ;)

The Keys

Who would have thought that my dearest roommate will be part of my adventures?

Of course, being my roommate, she's going to be a definite part of my journey. But a direct participant, if not the cause, of my rush this morning? Hehe.

A little past 8:00 in the morning, my phone rang. Awakened from my slumber, I saw it was Shei calling and felt the urgency to answer it. Oh, she locked her keys inside the bathroom. Our landlord could not be reached, there was no way for her to retrieve those precious keys, except perhaps to destroy the bathroom door.

Slowly, I opened the computer to check for the contact information of courier services and called to ask if they had same day delivery services. LBC, JRS, FEDEX, 2GO. None. All of them offer next day delivery services. As for AIR21, I didn't find information, or maybe there was none, of a branch near our home.

Around 9:15 in the morning, I went out to send the keys in LBC Subic branch. I went out without taking a bath, which is something I very rarely do. It costed PhP135.00 for that set of keys. And a level one difficulty of going back the road in that congested area of the town. Whew!

Shei should be able to receive that tiny package tomorrow before lunch in LBC Burgos branch. Haha, her adventures of forgotten keys, though superiorly less than mine, are surely more exciting than my own. ;)

Bum

I'm still living a bum life.

I initially planned to wake up early today, but heck, I still have runny nose so I thought I deserved to sleep late. Besides, it was so good to sleep with my little sister beside me, cuddling me. Hehe.

So I woke up at 9:30 AM since I had to eat breakfast and drink the medicine my father bought for me and which I did not really want to take. Two capsules left, then tomorrow I won't be taking them anymore. Haha.

Yesterday, I slept the whole afternoon (almost), then surfed the internet afterward. I got up late, so it left me with basically nothing sensible to do in the morning. A bum life, won't you agree?

Yet I say that a week or two of being a bum, of doing almost nothing (emphasis on almost) is enough. More than that would be too much and unhealthy. This afternoon, I will go to Olongapo to buy things I need and to help me jump start my adventure (hey, I need money.) Tomorrow I plan to wake up early and enjoy the cool air of the morning. Then enjoy.

Cheers to a beautiful day!

A New Year, Definitely a New Start

January 4, 2008

That's the date when Mon went to Manila leaving me behind here in our dear hometown, Castillejos.

Around 1:30 in the afternoon

That's the time when it hit me that this is going to be a definitely new year, a new life, a new start.

Ah! All the drama!

Last December 2008, the project I am working on ended. No funding was secured before I my contract ended, so now I am without a job. Yet still, even if we were able to secure funding before the year ended, it is most likely that I would choose to embark on a completely crazy journey to discover myself and my potentials.

Prodded by my boss, or more appropriately inspired by my boss, I decided to leave a secure lifestyle and just go with whatever flow (I do not know.) Now I do not have a job, am inclined to do volunteer work, take my masters in June, and eventually teach (which according to my mentor is just like doing volunteer work due to the very low pay.)

I am excited to take this adventure. I plan to take many trips, many endeavors, many must do's, and re-invent, or rather, improve myself. Yet, the only problem I will be facing would be funds - I only have six months worth of savings to spend stingily. Haha! Oh, I do not want to worry about that now.

Now it's the start. Cheers to the new year!